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And Miles To Go Before I Sleep...

Ask me anything!   Submit   Trey. Mizzou. Gay. Music Major. YOLO.

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Hello, Dearest Followers,

How have you been today? Hopefully significantly better than me. Not that today is a bad day (word on the street says it’s International Kissing Day, so if any guy in the St. Louis area wants to kiss me, let me know!) but today is just exhausting physically (my car said it was 116 degrees outside), mentally, and emotionally. Blahhh. Last night was interesting. This guy I’m talking to finally got the courage to talk to me on the phone. We spent 3 hours talking, broken into two half-hour segments (After I watched a few episodes of Courage the Cowardly Dog) and he fell asleep. The reason we have yet to meet face-to-face is because he was recently out of a relationship. Like, less than a month ago. So, he doesn’t think he is ready for, well, anything. And I’m dying for a relationship with him. No good, right? Well, when he fell asleep he started mumbling. He kept saying I love you, I hate you, I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand. Well, I got off the phone and he called me back because he had a nightmare that he was fighting with his ex. So, I don’t know. He doesn’t want me to wait for him because I’ll “miss a chance with an amazing guy.” You want to know what Trey does not come into contact with? Amazing men. Fo’ rizzle. Except for this guy. I’m just worried that I’m going to miss my chance with the most amazing guy. So, I am just stuck and I am frustrated and he is so damn great and sweet but I don’t know if I will ever have a chance, especially since I am moving about an hour and a half away in less than a month. Why put yourself through that if you don’t even need to?

Also, I can’t decide if I want to do Marching Mizzou or not. That there is some really frustrating business. I’m just worried that with a job, work-study, and everything else that I won’t be able to handle the additional workload of Marching Band. And I’d have to keep up with two instruments, since the world ends whenever oboes go outside.

My stepmom is losing her mind and I really don’t know why, and that’s terrible because when she isn’t happy, no one is happy. The second she walked through the door, she started rattling off about fifteen million things that were my fault.

I can’t wait to be off Sunday; however, I don’t want to drive down to Farmington to hang out with people. I want some of my friends to actually show they give a rat’s ass and drive up here to see me for a change. There is so much more to do up here, and I’ve made the trip down to Farmington like four or five times. No damn fun. I can’t keep blowing all of that money in gas. Just not working out for me.

Oh, and I bought new shoes on the Fourth of July.

Have a great weekend.

Got any advice?

— 2 years ago with 4 notes
#me  #personal  #stl  #kissing  #mizzou  #missouri  #marching band  #farmington  #oboe  #love  #confused  #impatient  #patienceisavirtue  #gay  #advice  #greatly  #appreciated 
June 17th, 2012

So, I’m at home, bored, again, and figured I’d give you a lovely update on my life.

Remember how I had a what might have been a date date? Well, I grew some balls and told the dude how I felt. He turned me down, but in probably the best way anyone could turn anyone down. We will stay friends, and with him, that’s something that’s actually possible. So that’s nice. I wasn’t even really sad. Just relieved that all that pressure of “WHATTHEHELLDOIDO?!” was lifted from my shoulders. Is that weird?

I have successfully saved about 95 dollars from my paycheck, which is enough to pay for the three trial oboes I am having my shipped to my house within the next couple of weeks :D So, by July, I will own an instrument. FINALLY.

Also, I have officially decided not to do marching band for at least my freshman year of college. The time commitment would be so hefty, not to mention that I will be working and obviously getting my education. I’m still doing band (obviously—Music Composition major) and choir is still up in the air (fingers crossed). I go to Mizzou on Tuesday and Wednesday for my summer welcome, where I will make my schedule and do all sorts of other cool things, so that’s exciting. And I’m going to do work study! I have a job reserved for me in the Fine Arts Building in the office for the School of Music—Wahoo! That’s an extra $600 each semester for doing little tasks like running errands and making copies.

Today is Father’s Day and I would just like to announce how happy I am that I myself am not a father.

My PS2 games are MIA, which is upsetting; however, I feel some Final Fantasy IX itching in my tummy. I’ll probably hook everything up and get to playin’ within the next couple of hours…

Okay, I suppose that’s all I have to say. How are you?

— 2 years ago with 5 notes
#me  #personal  #my day  #life  #gay  #love  #confidence  #finalfantasy  #videogames  #playstation  #college  #mizzou  #mu  #musummerwelcome  #band  #marching band  #choir  #father's day  #rant  #ramble  #dear diary 

This is just a MIDI file of a composition I did for Concert Band. I like a lot of it, but there are some sections of it that I think are kind of awful. But that’s okay! Just thought I’d share. Enjoy!

— 2 years ago with 1 note
#music  #classical  #composing  #band  #concert band  #marching band  #MIDI  #art  #create  #this is my passion  #gay